Monday, April 25, 2011

Start Marriage Right!!!...but how?

You've seen them too haven't you? The fairy tale endings I mean. All of those "chick flicks" end the same, all of those stories finish with a *sigh*. The handsome leading man and beautiful leading lady although odds surmount and they experience crazy event after crazy event and close call after close call, they finally end up walking off into the sunset together. They're dreamily in love and "all is well" with the world. And the viewers, well we are left with a feeling of happiness for the lucky couple but also an...emptiness?

Why an emptiness? Well because for most of us we know what happens after that dreamy sunset walk. We know what it's like to wake up years later and wonder what happened to that sunset? Where did the love birds go? Where did all that romantic music run off too?

You see, real life, a real marriage, doesn't end when the bride and groom leave for the honeymoon. Yes, that's climatic and worth a hundred daydreams at least but real life is about what happens after the "credits roll." Movies don't go there do they? They don't show us how that lucky couple fairs after 11 years of marriage, children, a mortgage and numerous misunderstandings. Why don't they by the way? I'll tell you why, because those scenes are not always pretty and unfortunately in our day and age they don't end in happily ever afters.

So, what's a couple to do? Well, unfortunately many decide that they would be better off going their own ways, splitting up the family and trudging down the rough road. But it doesn't need to be so. God instilled the union of marriage and He intended it to be a beautiful thing. But since it involves two sinners it often isn't an easy thing. And for many the option of just giving up and going separate ways seems all too easy.

I was recently asked to review a new website entitled Intrigued with the title I quickly began to browse the site. Honestly, I was expecting some shallow articles and not much help but can I tell you that's not what I found!

I was immersed in some great articles that even challenged and encouraged to become a better mate to my husband of 11 years. Inspite of the title I believe that there will be treasures here for any one; whether about to get married, considering marriage or married with some years behind ya.

Just take a read at this quote from Dr. Tony Evans' article entitled "Complementing, Not Conflicting in Marriage."

"Oneness doesn’t mean sameness. Oneness means demonstrating a willingness to work together toward the same goal."

That statement drove home to me the reality that I had been wrong in some of my thinking these past 11 years. And that was just one article. There are many more articles available to readers such as

And many more!! There are suggested book lists for three different stages; dating, engaged and married. There are helpful links and an option to discover your love language!! (That was an interesting one!!) You can also submit any questions that you may be having or read questions from others.
I've come to the conclusion that is a great tool! Not only for those who are considering or preparing for marriage but for those who've been married for a while and find some of the struggles to be a little overwhelming.

One thing that I have often wished for is that hubby and I would have had marriage counseling. Oh sure, we met with our Pastor...once....but some steady, consistent, "let's get down to the nitty-gritty" of marriage information and wisdom would have been so helpful. Start Marriage will do some of that for those considering marriage! What a valuable tool!!

But whether you spend some time on the site or not I would be remiss if I didn't leave you with one last thing: in order to "start marriage right" you need to be sure that you are starting with Christ. Go to Him with your questions and concerns. Ask Him to lead you to your future husband. Take that argument to the Lord and ask Him to open your eyes to your own faults. Cause, you see, although the website I've just reviewed is one of the best I've seen in a long time it's still a man made tool and shouldn't be used as a substitution for Christians seeking God in their own relationships. So, seek God first, then!!!! I believe that you will be well prepared if you do!!

Go on, pray and then check it out!!

Lovin' Learnin'

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